Help A Friend
When You’re a Bystander
A bystander is someone present and onlooking at an event, specifically related to abuse, but is not a participant. When there are multiple people around a victim, there is less of a chance for someone to step in and help because they assume someone else will. You can be the one to stand up and help a victim.
First, assess for safety. Make sure all parties are safe and take notice if the authorities need to be contacted. Your safety is the priority; if the situation is dangerous, call LUPD or 911. Secondly, be with other people. If it is safe to intervene, your influence will be greater with another person or with a group of people. Your safety is also increased when you are with a group of people that you know. Finally, care for the person at risk. Ask the person if they are okay, see if they need medical attention, and seek additional aid. Provide support by giving them information about the OEC process or contacting law enforcement and be willing to be a witness to the event.
What hurts the victim most is not the cruelty of the oppressor, but the silence of the bystander.
– Elie Wiesel
Here’s How You Can Help
If someone you know within the Liberty University community has experienced sexual assault or sexual misconduct, we can help you help them. Whether you’re a friend, roommate, CGL, RD, or concerned member of our faculty or staff, we can point you to resources that you can share, as well as provide support for you through the process.
Listen
Refer
Report, as required
Helpful Tips
While you are not expected to act as a counselor when you are with someone who has experienced sexual misconduct, you should be aware that the supportiveness of your response can be critical in the healing process. Though there is no one “right” way to respond, the following may serve as a guide in identifying helpful responses:
- Give the victim your complete attention
- Validate the victim’s feelings
- Tell the victim:
- “I believe you”
- “This was not your fault”
- “You have options”
- “Thank you for coming forward”
- Offer the victim options:
- To sit or stand
- To share more or be silent
- To call referral agencies or not, or to have you call
- Ask the victim what they need
- Remind the victim that they are not alone, that other people of all genders have experienced sexual misconduct
- Provide the victim with information about the resources available to them, including confidential counseling, medical resources and reporting resources
- If necessary suggest to the victim that they preserve evidence
- Follow up with the victim
- Complete and submit the Incident Reporting Form if you are a Mandatory Reporter.
- Take care of yourself after dealing with the situation. Get support for yourself if you need it. Consider speaking with a confidential resource.