A more mature matrimony: Liberty faculty member avoided “ring by spring” pressure, opted for a later marriage

When Christian girls get to college, the hunt for the perfect husband begins. At Liberty University, students are encouraged in their mate-searching with phrases like “ring by spring” and sometimes even feel pressured to date just because everyone else seems to be hopping on the same boat. 

But what about girls who want to wait and don’t feel the need to get married young? 

Such was the case of Dr. Monica Brennan, Liberty University’s director for the Center of Women’s Leadership, who didn’t get married until 33 years old. Within some Christian circles, age 33 might be considered “too old” for marriage (as many Christians opt for early marriages), but Brennan can’t imagine her life taking any other path.

According to Brennan, she never felt the pressure to get married young, which helped her focus her energy on pursuing the Lord and her career instead of pursuing men. It’s not that she didn’t have a desire for marriage, she said – but rather that she trusted God’s timing above anything else.

“I talk to so many girls on campus, and they have that pressure,” Brennan said. “I was very focused on what the Lord had put in my hand to do. I was so happy, I was speaking, I was writing. Very fulfilled.” 

While waiting, Brennan soaked up as much Scripture as she could. She also devoted her time to pursuing both her master’s and doctorate degrees, which she said she could not have imagined doing while married given that they took up so much of her time. For Brennan, the season of waiting was a season of preparation for the gift of marriage that God had in her future. 

“I feel like I really had a better grasp on my identity,” Brennan said. “That time waiting also deepened my walk with the Lord, my dependency on Him and my time in the word. He had a lot that he needed to do to prepare me for that very special day.” 

For Brennan, learning to trust God’s timing was essential. Although she admitted at times it was hard and she would often become discouraged, she learned that, married or not, she had to place the Lord first.

Anytime girls or guys become discontent in their hearts, they often tend to put other things in the place of the Lord, Brennan said. Even when her now-husband Dr. Michael Brennan, a music professor at Liberty University, proposed, Monica Brennan didn’t feel ready. But she knew it was all right to feel unready, because she knew it was God’s timing, and He had given her peace. 

Despite Monica Brennan’s unique story, she recognizes every love story is different. For some girls, God’s plan is early marriage, and for others, it’s at a more mature age, like it was for her. 

Regardless of God’s timing for each person, Monica Brennan said that the most important thing to remember is the purpose for marriage, which is to paint a picture of the gospel. 

“Marriage is awesome and beautiful,” Monica Brennan said. “And (for) anyone who has that desire, I think it’s great, but we all need to wait on God’s leading and timing for anything, whether it’s a job or a future spouse.” 

Elias is a feature writer. Follow her on Twitter.