Liberty Adds “Ring by Spring” Course as a DCP Requirement

Liberty University just announced that a new course, Ring by Spring, will be a requirement on the new Degree Completion Programs for the 2018 fall semester.  

RBSP 210 will be a workshop-style class, focusing on matching students romantically based on common interests, number of expected children and a one to 10 scale rating how Republican they are. 

This program guarantees that no Liberty student will graduate alone. Instead, each student will receive a wedding band at graduation, which can be given to their spouse on the projected wedding day specified on their diploma. 

“Students come to Liberty expecting to find their future spouse,” senior vice president for spiritual development David Nasser said. “We want to make that a guarantee.” 

Jerry Falwell has also expressed his support for this new campaign, called We the Committed. Falwell said he holds students’ best interests at heart and that this campaign is in response to the decline in church attendance numbers. 

“Christians are supposed to be fruitful and multiply,” Falwell said. “The first step is getting them married!” 

Juliana White, a junior in the FACS department and member of the first trial RBSP 210 class, said that the new course came along at the perfect time. 

“To be honest, I was starting to panic by my junior year,” White said. “If I couldn’t find a spouse at Liberty, I was doomed to spend the rest of my life alone. But, with the help of RBSP 210, I found my perfect match. I never thought I’d find a man whose denomination was Dutch Reformed like me, but I did!” 

Though lonely hearts across Liberty campus are rejoicing, some students are not overjoyed at the prospect of required marriage. 

Maxwell Drummond has started a petition to grant a waiver to students who feel called to singleness. 

“Paul was single, so why can’t I be?” Drummond said. “Some of us have a higher calling than an M.R.S. degree.” 

April Fools Day